Just kidding, of course!  Happy April Fools Day to my awesome subscribers 😉

This beard craze has gone too far!


He's so full of himself. Barry ‘Beard-o' Jones, world famous beard-model. He thinks he can do anything and women will fall over themselves in the rush to take their clothes off.

This was supposed to be my big break, photographing a star of his caliber so early in my career would propel me into the limelight. I was going to be the personification of professionalism.

Then, on the day of the shoot, I found out why his agency was so hush-hush about it. When Barry takes his pants off in the studio and I get my first glimpse at his other beard, all bets are off, and he takes me for my first time right there in front of some very embarrassed interns and my shocked grandmother, who was visiting from out of town.

As if that wasn't enough, Barry draws me into the seedy underworld of beard modeling, where facial hair sabotage is only the beginning of how of how far these people will go to be the next big beard on campus. His crazy ex-wife has allied with his arch-rival in a plot to forcibly remove the ginger gold from Barry's face so she can use it to knit a doll and he can claim Barry's throne.

Barry says the only thing that can stop them is if he gets me pregnant before the end of the month and he takes every opportunity he can as we flee across the country, narrowly avoiding our enemies at every turn.

I was just supposed to take some photographs… can I really be the mother of the next beard messiah?


When chicks see this beard, feel it tickling their inner thighs, they'll believe anything.

You really should check out these other deals that actually exist though!

Billion Dollar Bad Boy
by Nora Flite

He thinks he can buy anything he wants. Even me.
The package in my mail had no name, no address.
Just some sexy lingerie, and a letter telling me that I was claimed.
That I already belonged to him.
I thought it was a mistake. No one would send something like that to a girl like me. The most exciting part of my day was getting to marathon a new show on Netflix.
But the gifts kept coming.
And the messages got more personal.
He'd write things like, “Thinking about you drives me wild.”
Or, “How will our lips feel when we finally kiss?”
I won't lie, I was starting to fall for a stranger.
Then he wanted to meet.
He's gorgeous, charming, an actual damn billionaire. He's everything a girl could want.
But he has a secret.
What if he isn't a stranger at all?

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51BktPpoGWL__SX332_BO1,204,203,200_hisprincessHis Princess
by Abigail Graham
I'm no Cinderella, and he's no Prince Charming…

The Crown Prince took me prisoner. You read that right. Crown Prince. Castle, throne, the whole nine yards. The monarch of a totalitarian regime has locked me up in his fortress, and he demands that I marry him… and provide him with an heir!

Me. The girl from Jersey. Trust me, I'm no princess. He's the last man I'd choose for my prince.

He's an arrogant jerk and has a stick up his…you know where. But that dark hair, those deep blue eyes, those strong arms, those perfect abs, that humongous… sword. I can't stand him, but I can't take my eyes off him.

I'm not marrying him and I'm definitely not his subject. If he wants me to be his princess, he better treat me like one or he can take his crown and shove it.

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61RJtZXKSbL__SX331_BO1,204,203,200_mosteligiblebabydaddyMost Eligible Baby Daddy
by Chance Carter

Even the Most Damaged Man Deserves a Wife and Baby.

I'm a strong girl. I stand up for myself. But no one else ever stood up for me before. At least, not until Forrester came along. He came out of nowhere, but already, I know I can count on him. From the moment I set eyes on him, I knew I would be his girl. He loves me for who I am, for what I can offer, and he's begging me to give him a baby so that his life can be complete and full of love.

I was always one of those men who thought they didn’t deserve love. I thought it wasn’t for me. I could get girls in my bed, sure, but it never went anywhere. I was broken. Until I met Elle. She made me realize that I deserved true love after all. She changed my life. She healed me. And I would die for her now. If there’s one thing I am, it’s loyal. I’m so loyal to Elle I would give my life for her.

Elle taught me that even the most damaged man, still deserves a wife and baby.

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